All poems (c) Becky Deans.

I wrote these when I was 19 and edited them just now.

Trial

If I lost my mind in a labyrinth

Would you come to find me?

If I tied my life in spiderwebs

could you still unwind me?

If I broadcast abstract characters

how would you decode me?

And if I let down all my barriers

how could you erode me?

When did you stop learning baby?

When they told you off at school?

When they told you kids should mess?

When they told you that you’re thick?

When they made you wear that dress?

When the lads forgot their work,

took up studying your chest?

When you worked out it’s not cool?

When they made you wear that dress?

When you won a full-time post

As Assistant Manageress

but they made you make the tea?

When they made you wear that dress?

When you drank yourself again

to a state of helplessness?

When your period was late?

When they made you wear that dress?

When you gave it up for love?

When your house was in a mess?

When he only hit you once?

When your baby wore a dress?

Anytime

i am

a mat in the hall

you can wipe your shit on me

anytime

i am

a sack full of straw

you can practise punches on me

anytime

i am

a tramp from the street

you can steal some food from me

anytime

i am

a hole in the earth

you can put your finger in me

anytime

Yesterday

I think we realised

yesterday doesn’t exist

We stream out clean again each morn.

I think we realised

yesterday is meaningless.

You walk away from me

untorn.